I know, it’s been a while! I didn’t encounter writers’ block or anything…or maybe I did because I still hold a lot of self-doubt. So many times though, I’d blog in my head just before falling asleep and not have the motivation or need the next day to type it all out. It seemed exhausting, but also unnecessary. I suppose, really, as long as we are all journalling – even in our heads – it’s better than nothing, because Spirit listens in. I trust in that process.
Here I am again writing because I want to reconnect with writing as a creative outlet, but also to see how you are doing. I always hope that readers find some solace in what I share, or they know someone who will.
We did it: last month, we moved to a different city, on an island no less. It was a place I had wanted to move to, for over a decade. I would tell people about it, my “One day…” story; the more you repeat it, the more you realise either you will be THAT person who just tells others about their dreams instead of lived experiences, or you will actually go and do it. As we began the process of moving – decluttering, selling off furniture, finding a realtor, telling our friends, packing, tidying up for house viewings – it was very busy and I allowed the busyness to override my fears. Many times, my ego would say, in a panicked voice, “What have you done?!?!!”. There are still moments where I sorely miss my old garden. But there’s no point in dwelling in it, because if I take myself back to the place where I tell my “One day…” story and never take the leap, I would regret it for the rest of my life. Besides, I’ve overcome some hard lessons in this life already and I want to keep going. In my next reincarnation, I’d really rather not have to repeat them all over again. Though I plan to take a very long siesta!
About the wind though. I really took notice, during the last couple of years, of how strong the wind was blowing on a daily basis. One fond instance was, I was doing some light gardening in front of my old home. It was a still and sunny day but from out of nowhere, there was this incredibly strong gust of wind that just hit me, made me almost breathless. Then the air was completely still again.
Every time the wind caught my attention, I would say, “Ahh the winds of change” with a knowing smile, acknowledging their presence in my journey. I often replied with, “Yes, yes I’m working on it”.
Change is hard, change is scary. I’d rather be able to flow with it than resist because trust me, it’s less painful and more fun if you view it naturally as part of life. The natural world is constantly in a state of flux but nothing really dies; nature regenerates itself and becomes stronger, more abundant, rich, and beautiful. When we, as humans, are loving stewards of the earth and all her inhabitants, we also prosper. I saw a sign the other day that read, “Each one of us is a flower in the garden”. If we can view our own life as a journey, and everything that happens in it as an experience – not labelling it as good or bad – this will strengthen our character and our capacity to empathise with one another. I know, it’s a difficult pill for many to swallow, especially if you have a serious illness or trauma. My family came to Canada as refugees fleeing war and persecution. There’s a history of poverty, fear, sexism, and racism in my lineage. Whatever that hard thing in your life is, face it and ask – how am I a stronger person because of it, and what can I teach others? That is quite a legacy to leave behind.
My intention when I started this blog was to find my soul family, the ones I have reincarnated with over and over. The ones I will instantly recognise when I meet them, not the ones I intellectually assess if they are good friends for me or not. So I took the plunge and lit my beacon so they could find me. When I recommit to this intention, then I don’t worry about pleasing others or worry about perfection. I no longer have to pretend, I can just Be.
I have also committed myself to be of service. There are some days I am exhausted and need to refill my own cup and other days where I am really to fully surrender to Spirit. It does feel like something big is coming up on the horizon and I cannot see it or know it, only feel. Just like when I quit my corporate job a few years back, the agony of staying in the same place was far greater than the fear of not knowing my next steps. I have readied myself by practicing non attachment to things, places and people. I have asked Archangel Michael on a nearly daily basis to remove all ties that bind me from freedom. Innately, I trust that what is in the highest good for me will rejoin the path.
My favourite season! I realise I haven’t been blogged in awhile, but I’ve been enjoying all the comforts of winter, including the need to hibernate, reflect, and eat baked goods. I love snow, it’s so magickal and purifying.
Just for fun, I’m going to make a list of things I’m working on and read this later, to see how much progress I’ve made.
*Finishing my sentences when speaking. Sometimes I tend to drift off. Let’s sound more confident!
*I’ve been adding more colour to my dream journal by doodling on the pages. It helps me notice patterns in my dreams and I’m seeing even more colours in my dreams.
*I’ve been noting down on a calendar when I’ve washed my hair and my face. Taking care of my physical body wasn’t something I prioritised before but it’s something I wish to change (the hair thing is more so that I can gauge how often I’m washing which indicates how balanced my scalp’s pH is).
*Learning EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) for healing myself and others. Just adding another tool in the healing toolbox
*I requested a spiritual teacher to work with me, one from the higher dimensions. So… many weeks before this, I saw a male being walk into my bedroom wearing a uniform. He bowed his head as he saw me which was really nice, but I was super tired and cranky that morning and didn’t want to deal with this situation. I wondered many times who it could have been? Then two weeks ago, I played a spiritual board game called Masters of Light and drew “Zoroaster” (aka Zarathustra). Aha! So the timing of these events was not quite in linear sequence, but that is not how the spirit world works.
*I have also been getting signs, again, to connect with Enoch/Archangel Metratron and to learn more about Ashtar.
*My affirmations of late are “May my words, deeds and thoughts reflect the love God has for all of us” and “thank you for helping me to sense, feel, see, hear the God in everyone and everything.” Since childhood, I could more easily connect to nature and animals than to people. I know why that was the case, but I wish to change this.
*Removing energy blocks to receive abundance. I have been reminding myself that abundance comes from the Universe. Because everything is energy, and that includes money. Part of this challenge comes from my cultural background that encourages sacrificing the self (especially if you are a woman) for the group; I also had self-confidence issues.
*I made a website recently to sell my handmade soap (it took many months of working up the courage), and right away, I felt a very strong inclination that I had to donate soap on a regular basis. It took me awhile to get around to writing the email but I contacted a women’s shelter today. I get a feeling this will help my creative energies to flow more freely.
*I have four crystal grids up at the moment and am quite proud that I have been connecting to them for several months now to see if they need to be updated or removed. I don’t have the best discipline so yay me 🙂
*Last, but not least, praying for my cravings of sugary foods to subside
I go there in my mind’s eye. It’s a place where it is perpetually dusk, the temperature is just perfect for me and I don’t need to sleep or eat. I am in my early 20s.
There are open and rolling hills of soft lush grass, a forest nearby and a gentle stream with a cascading waterfall. I am content to spend my time lying in the grass, reading or drawing, as I listen to nature’s music: birdsong and the soothing waters. On the other side of the stream are towering clear quartz crystals who beckon me to visit from time to time. I access them by crossing over a beautifully ornate wooden arched bridge. These immense crystals grow in a perfect circle and I sit in the centre in stillness.
Most of the time though, I am in the forest surrounded by my beloved animals. Many of them are pets I’ve had throughout my life, and as each one passes into the Light, they happily join the ones already here. In this piece of heaven, they all play together; there is no fear despite their predator or prey roles on Earth. The cats play gently with the hamsters; large and small fish are swimming happily alongside each other in the stream.
For a long time, whenever someone asked me about my happy place, I would go blank. I was one of those people who found it hard to smile for a photo; I was the awkward child in the family photos. How can one even fake a smile?? As soon as I reconnected with Source/The Divine, this imagery of my happy place slowly came to me. Smiling for a photograph comes naturally to me now.
One day, I found a card at a local spiritual shop and its likeness to my happy place was so uncanny I had to purchase it! The inscription inside reads:
Forest Friends
In a sunlit glade, a child of the woods with a special affinity for all forest creatures sits and waits for them to assemble. As the animal friends gather around, they sense the child’s kind and free spirit. Comforted by this positive energy, all thoughts of flight or fight are gone. They forget their fears and simply enjoy each others’ company, watched over by the forest spirits amongst the trees.
When I went through my awakening, I often contemplated how helpful it would have been to have a manual. I often google searched topics like “spiritual awakening and rashes”. This is an account of some of the things I went through and what I learned.
When I received my first Reiki attunement in 2017, it unraveled a lot of density and greatly heightened my sensitivity to energy and energy beings. I define density as a collection of experiences, conscious and unconscious learnings, from our surroundings – family, teachers, media, movies, books, etc. – that teach us limited ways of thinking and being. They are energies we’ve absorbed that no longer resonate with the frequency we are at and with the truths that reside within.
Bodily Symptoms
That density, at times, left me through my physical body. Vomiting, rashes and bodily sensations in the same areas were mostly what I experienced. It was an inner knowing I had that when these things happened, it wasn’t some regular illness. My Reiki teacher had suggested shifts would occur and it was also helpful that a good friend had many of these symptoms in common during her awakening. Before this, I never experienced having rashes. Thank goodness, I just had the one major occurrence. Mine started at the tips of my ears but the itching was so persistent that my partner strongly urged me to see a doctor. Even though I clearly knew why it was happening, I placated him by going. The best possible explanation the doctor could give me was that I had developed an allergy to the plastic that my eyeglass frames were made from (the same pair I had been wearing for the last 5 years). He shrugged his shoulders and prescribed me a cream that he said probably wouldn’t help. The rash soon spread to my back and legs and I barely slept for two weeks. Just to test that plastic theory, I even switched to wearing clothing made from all natural fibres. That didn’t help at all, but then, as suddenly as the rash came on, it left.
The bodily sensations were most interesting. I recall feeling pulsating vibrations on my upper lip and in the palms of my hands. My feet would become very hot for a few seconds at a time, and these sensations would take place at all times of the day no matter where I was or what I was doing. Always, I’d stop and take notice. That in itself was the main message. Also, my feet wanted me to move forward in life, my lips to speak my truth, my hands to perform healing work.
I knew these symptoms, no matter how strange or unpleasant, would pass and I would be the better for it. I often wondered about all the people out there experiencing similar things as me, and how they couldn’t tell their employers why they really couldn’t go into work that day.
Release Through Dreams
I also processed the density while in my dream state – again, vomiting but also using the toilet on numerous occasions. I still have toilet dreams to this day. And one could say, dropping number twos must mean releasing a huge amount of density!
I dreamt (and still do) of people I had unresolved issues with, past situations that had caused anxiety, and many things to forgive myself for.
Snakes came to visit me often, and they grow by shedding their skin. Confirmation, in case I needed it.
Energetic Boundaries & Protection
By far, this affected me the most. I found I could not – I just could not – handle being around certain people and being in certain places. Most restaurants became excessively noisy for me as my hearing became more sensitive.
My existing food sensitivities were becoming stronger around this time. I consulted with an intuitive healer who identified a place within my digestive system that she described as acting like floodgates, allowing in dense energies from other people. This rung true for me, and as I focused on strengthening my energetic boundaries, my sensitivities all but disappeared. For several months, I stopped eating in my workplace lunchroom. I’d eat at a quiet park and meditate instead or practice seeing auras around trees and rocks. I couldn’t do the small talk, the gossip, the drama. I took a very long break from listening to certain music genres. I made a conscious effort to speak to myself using loving words. These are all energies.
When you are made of Light and that Light grows brighter, you will attract all kinds of beings to you and this is where you must do the energy protection work and intend for who you want to attract into your life. Energetic protection is very real and I quickly realized it’s not just about shielding oneself from gossip. I read many spiritual books, went to workshops and experimented with stronger ways to protect my auric field, my energy bodies. There are many methods: visualizing oneself in an egg or bubble made of different materials, wearing crystals, reciting mantras, requesting assistance from spirit guides and angels…
Personally, my shields didn’t appear very strong for me in the beginning because deep down in my core, doubt and fear still persisted. Our will and our minds are so strong that it can take down any shield. When I finally truly believed that I was deserving of help, that I was made of the Light, that I was also powerful, I felt more protected and became better at discerning the energies around me.
“I intend to only work with beings of unconditional love” or “Only unconditional love may pass through my shield” are some affirmations I use.
Signs and Synchronicities
I wanted to read about all the metaphysical topics in the beginning, anything I could get my hands on. In due course, I became naturally drawn to a few areas of interest and I would be led to them in various ways: a key word or image would continuously pop up without me searching for them (on a t-shirt or bag, hearing it in passing, poster on a lamppost, etc.); I’d dream about it; my eyes would be drawn to a certain book on a library shelf; I’d think of it and my body would twitch or pulsate somewhere…the ways are varied because we have so many senses – the physical, yes, but also of the psychic kind. Signs also appeared to guide me to certain places to go to or certain people to meet. The key is not to go looking for them, because that is just overthinking and I’ve done that.
One beautiful synchronicity I experienced early on was when I walking down the street behind a man, whose T-shirt read “There are no problems, only solutions”. At the exact moment, a car drove by, blasting the song “Stairway to Heaven”. I had just started working with a life coach during the time when I bumped into a young boy whose t-shirt read, “Put me in, coach”. For several days, I had been pondering which crystal pendulum to buy. I was in a restaurant and though there was a lot of background chatter, my ears picked up on a voice saying “green and purple go well together”. Ahh, so fluorite it is. Thank you.
Seeing 11:11 or 1:11 on the clock or consistently noticing any other angel number sequence is an indication that you are well on your spiritual path.
Brain Balancing
I was a studyholic in school I and worked in the accounting field for nearly 15 years, so my left hemisphere is pretty developed. Magick doesn’t exist there though. Logic does and of course, having knowledge and facts can serve us well but we are meant for so much more.
I pride myself on being a good speller, so imagine my shock one day when I was writing out a simple four letter word and I couldn’t spell it properly! I had to try two or three times until it came out right. Then I laughed out loud at how absurd it was; I knew this had to do with energy balancing itself in my brain.
Another thing I am good at is memorizing details. But for the life of me, I could no longer recall which book I had read something in or who had told me some piece of information. It was like there was a soup made of information and wisdom all being mixed together in a huge vat. What I knew though, was that I was somehow filtering any information that came to me. Now, only truths for me stay in that pot and non truths go into some abyss.
I’m all about fostering right brain development now, so if I can do something a little differently, I do it. Creativity can simply be taking a different way home, cooking without a recipe, journaling, singing out loud or just doodling.
Dietary Changes
Consider the energy of food, where it comes from, how it’s produced and also whose hands it passes when it finally arrives on your plate. You are what you eat. Food sensitivities may develop as your body adjusts and asks for higher vibrational foods.
I am shown certain foods in my dreams to incorporate more of into my diet and have received suggestions to go vegan. My uncle on the Other Side (this is what I call the place people go to when they pass on) showed me a scene of a deep pool of water and inside it, people consuming fries and drinking pop; water being symbolic of the emotional state, he was telling me to be mindful of when and why I eat junk food.
The Puzzle Comes Together
Now I can see how I was guided down this path. The places I’ve been, the people I’ve met, and why I was drawn to certain things as a child. For me, one of these aha moments was when I realized that two of my favourite novels had these titles, “The Diviners” and “Lady Oracle”. And somehow over the years, I had unwittingly amassed various things with owls on them; I discover later on that the owl is one of my spirit animals.
The detours also had to have happened for a reason. What is revealed is done so in Divine timing, when we are ready for them. Could I have handled all this when I was 20?!? No, I needed to become stronger and wiser. There truly is a lesson in everything.
Then it came crashing down on me, the onset of guilt and shame of how I acted before my awakening. I was that crazy driver who would cut people off, I yelled at customer service agents. Gah. We evolve though and I am proud to say that I had the will to become a better person and to break free from the Matrix.
I did alienate a lot of people at first because I would practice avoidance instead of communicating effectively about what I was going through. I invite you to be honest with close friends and family, if you feel this would be of benefit. Some people just may not understand as they are on a different wavelength. On the other hand, it could create a ripple effect.
The Lightworker’s Way by Doreen Virtue also helped me immensely during the early days because it was a real life account of her awakening to her spiritual power.
There are just so many aspects to this topic; one blog post cannot capture them all. And it’s all still unfolding for me.
Density continues to be released as we all raise our vibration. This density, at the collective level on Earth, is being revealed in the old systems built and sustained over generations. As they become dismantled, there will be much upheaval. Be gentle with yourself and with each other. From a higher spiritual perspective, see the positive changes that are happening.
In 2017, my partner – he wants to be called “Declan” here – underwent regression hypnotherapy to explore an earlier life that he led, for the purposes of deep healing and learning. We felt called to openly share his experiences. His current health challenges means he’s often too exhausted to concentrate on a long and focused task such as writing. One night during dinner, I received Divine inspiration to conduct an interview with him. So I did and here’s the conversation transcribed into text.
The truth we wish to bring to light is that reincarnation happens and we can access and learn from these memories.
Me:
So what was your intention for the hypnotherapy session?
Declan:
Well, I was facing a lot of difficulty in my life – health issues that were tied, largely in part to recent and past psychological difficulties. I wanted to try and gain a deeper insight into myself, learn something about myself. One of the key intentions set by my guide was to go to a life that could provide me with insight and strength into overcoming my present challenges.
Me:
Can you describe how your therapist guided you through the hypnosis?
Declan:
I went into first, a relaxing state, then visualized a pleasant sort of field area at the edge of a forest on a warm spring day, walking into a house. Just taking a look around the house, it was a nice, pleasant rustic summer cabin. And once the mood of the relaxation had been set, the descent process to go deeper into my mind or even I guess my soul in this case, began. We went down a few flights of stairs into deeper basement levels. I think it was an escalator specifically. And then once we had gotten somewhat deep into these different sub layers of the building, I was then taken to an elevator that was tailored for me. It was fit for royalty, a very plush elevator and it would go even deeper. So layers upon layers of relaxation and then descent at the same time to eventually get me into this other realm where I could see another life.
Me:
So it sounds like you were guided through basically your imagination and a visualization of a relaxing space.
Declan:
Yeah, it was guided meditation illustrated by my imagination.
Me:
What did you first notice when you opened up out of this relaxation, when you started to see in your mind’s eye?
Declan:
The first thing I noticed was that I was on a train and I could feel it coursing along the rail. And it felt old timey, like earlier part of the 20th century. I was guided to look around my environment and I noticed how there was a nice red sort of velvet carpet. On the floor and the wall, the paneling was a nice, dark oak color, so it was felt like an upper class train. And I saw some of the people in the car that I was sharing with, they were reserved, quiet, keeping to themselves. They were stately, like a lot of people looking like folk that you might expect to see on Downton Abbey. Some men wearing top hats. Then I was guided to look at myself and I was first told to look at my feet where I saw heavy jackboots. Like these are large boots fit for going through mud that is easily a foot and a half deep. So very heavy military boots. And I could see I was wearing dark grayish greenish trousers and a green military coat. And that’s when my heart started pounding because I had an inclination as to where this was going. And I very slowly turned to my left arm, where I saw the infamous flag of the Nazi Party on my left arm.
Me:
So how did that make you feel?
Declan:
There was some anxiety and apprehension. And my heart was pounding even more at this point because like, okay, so I’m in league with some very controversial characters to say the least.
Me:
What was your name and your age?
Declan:
My name was Hans. Age felt like early 30s.
Me:
Can you describe what else you saw on this train?
Declan:
Things heated up, to say the least. There was suddenly loud machine gunfire ripping through the train and people were frantically screaming because an Allied Spitfire was strafing the train. And so I immediately stood up with my rifle and started yelling at all the people in the train to get down low on the floor. Some of them listened. Some of them were too panicked to listen and I started to become angry with them and was shouting, very loudly, bellowing “Get down, get down!” There’s no way we can really do much else other than just hunker down and hope that the bullets that were mostly going through the windows would miss them if they were low on the ground.
That was when one of them grazed my arm, which stung a lot and ripped my sleeve. My arm was mostly okay but there was a fair bit of blood coursing down my arm because it took maybe the first millimeter off my arm or so.
Me:
You’re in this regression and you can feel the pain of that bullet?
Declan:
I can feel the pain of that bullet. Yeah, like, I didn’t feel it in my physical body, but I can feel it like a very vivid dream. Yeah. It’s strange. It’s like you feel it and yet you don’t. It’s the strange duality of being in a physical body that’s undergoing regression. It’s like you’re in two different places at once simultaneously.
Me:
What else happened after that train scene?
Declan:
My therapist wanted to take me back to before the war broke out, to a time when things were a bit calmer. And I noticed as I was skipping back, like going through a sort of rewind, that there were many segments that were just blacked out as if my soul was saying no, you’re not going to see that.
And we then settled in what felt like earlier 30s and I was at a rally. The predominant colors that I could process mentally were brown and orange. In the large tent that we’re in, its draped walls were a muddy brown. The orange: just the glow of the optimistic enthusiasm that we could feel.
We listened to a very charismatic man at the front, yes…with his short mustache like Charlie Chaplin, and his black hair, slicked to the side. He spoke to us about building the nation, rebuilding it and with it bringing about strong communities and wealth for everyone. A new golden age; a golden era for the German people! It just felt so warm and optimistic and euphoric. We were thinking yes, we are going forward into a good era. There will be no more humiliation, no more poverty for us. Life will be good. It felt wonderful.
Me:
What was your family life like at this point?
Declan:
I was taken forward to what felt like maybe a few years after that to Christmastime at my house. And again, it felt very warm, a feeling of an orange glow about the place. White was also a predominant color; white, from the snow outside and the icing on a gingerbread house that we had freshly decorated in the family room. The rich smells of Christmas dinner simmering, wafting in from the kitchen. It was a nice sizable brick kitchen.
Me:
You could smell this?
Declan:
I could smell yeah, I couldn’t put my finger on one thing distinctly but I got the impression of vegetables, beef and probably gravy, and possibly some sort of fruitcake. A lot of good, nutritious, rich foods and a feeling of gratitude and satisfaction that I had these things for my family because of the new state that was providing for us and giving us good work, good meaningful work that allowed us to provide for our families.
And I was so thrilled with my wonderful wife.
Me:
What’s her name?
Declan:
She was named Helga. She looked after the home very well, as being a soldier I was away at work for long stretches at a time. She kept the home running in good order, not just as a housewife, but as a carpenter as well. She knew carpentry, so she kept the house in good repair. I didn’t need to worry about fixing things when I came home.
Me:
Did you have any kids?
Declan:
Yeah. Helga, Jr., our daughter with sort of orangish blond hair and a son, Peter with more brownish, lightly blonde hair.
And I remember in particular, turning my attention towards my parents who looked quite frail. They had raised me through previous decades of poverty and they had sacrificed a great deal to make sure that I grew up strong and healthy. While I was physically robust, muscular, from a good nutritious diet growing up, they sacrificed their own intake so they were thin. And they had also worked very long hours, I believe in a factory for not the greatest wages back then. I was so happy to say to them, “You don’t need to worry about working or making any more sacrifice. The new order is taking over. Life will be plentiful and bountiful and you can now relax as my generation under our new leadership sees to it that life will be good and prosperous from here on for you and for the children and everyone in our community.”
Me:
Sounds like a very hopeful time.
Declan:
It was great. The Fuhrer was providing for us. We saw him as this benevolent grandfather who had rescued the nation.
Me:
Did you get a sense then that war was coming? You’re in the early 1930s?
Declan:
Well, the Christmastime felt later, mid to late 30s. I didn’t get a feeling of outright warfare. I knew there was some strong military action being taken, like we were taking back our land. But I didn’t see outright war coming. We didn’t want war with the other strong nations of Europe that we respected. We saw that as counterproductive.
Me:
And then after the view of the family at Christmastime, were you then brought forward to your military role now?
Declan:
We then skipped forward and there were more blacked out stuff; I can only wonder what happened in between. Actually, there were some other scenes from before the war. Within a year or two after that Christmas scene, there was a scene of traveling to Switzerland with my family, with my wife and the children and just admiring the beauty of the Alps: the crisp air, the crisp water that we could drink from streams, appreciating the beauty of our region of Europe and enjoying some sandwiches that we had packed in a picnic basket and taken with us up into the mountains. I remember pleasantly being surprised by a park ranger coming by and we invited him to join us so we sat down with a new friend and shared our food with him. And he spoke German as well. That was very pleasant.
After that, I was taken forward to a scene where I was, I believe, in Western Europe with my platoon of paratroopers. I stood up in the cockpit with the pilot. And that was an odd moment for me because, as Hans, I was getting this inkling that I was a part of, spiritually speaking, something bigger. I was just transfixed on the sky with this great feeling of there’s something bigger and greater beyond the sky, the world that I feel tethered to but what is it? And I was just standing there, squinting at the sky blinking, asking “What? What is it that I feel tethered to?”
Military action was happening at that point but it was not overly strenuous. My unit was in good shape. Unfortunately when I went to uh…this part is hard to talk about.
< Here, Declan broke down sobbing and spoke through tears describing the rest of the scenes. He wanted to continue talking though. We discussed afterwards that it felt like the trauma of this past life still haunted him and it needed to be processed. He said he felt much lighter after the big cry. >
When the war was going much more badly years forward, we were deployed to stop an Allied advance, and at this point my unit was comprised mostly of teenagers. We dropped into what seemed like a wide but shallow ditch. There was not much cover. The British were bearing down on us, their tanks had been modified with .50 caliber machine guns. They kept coming forward and they tore us apart in minutes. I was yelling at my troops to stay down but they were like scared children. They didn’t have enough training or discipline to hold the line. And they were just panicking. Every time they got up, they would just get torn to pieces. I couldn’t keep them under control.
We were done for at that point. They were terrified.
<Heavy sobbing>
Even the SS officer who’d been attached to us – I despised him – even he was losing his mind. He was only in his early 20s. At that point I think I had been wounded because I remember being on my back and not being able to move well.
British soldiers, demanding we just lay down our arms. They took us in as prisoners.
Me:
Please take a moment.
Declan:
During the regression at that point, even I fell out of my chair balling, and my guide had to refocus me and get me centered into the chair. Even now, I’m lightheaded just from going through that.
I’m not sure what happened to my unit after that.
Me:
The War took a great toll on all sides. We take for granted how young the soldiers were. They were so young.
<Now we’re both crying.>
Declan:
I mean, they were basically pulling recruits from the Hitler Youth and telling them that they were soldiers now. I did my best to inspire them and to keep them in order and say it will be alright. But they just didn’t have enough training and discipline to keep themselves intact. I think the oldest guy in my unit at that point, aside from that SS guy, was 17.
And even then, when we were taken to a, it felt like an aircraft or vehicle hangar, the British were good about it. I mean, they saw we were traumatized and wounded. So they did the best they could to tend to us; the SS guy was completely beside himself. At the same time, the British were still trying to pump us questions gently. He needed information about what they were walking into.
And that moment was quite strange because it felt like it was crossing over and bleeding in with another past life. I could feel and hear troops marching outside, but at the same time I could hear the rattling of ship lines from small personal sailing boats that were set up outside which felt like another lifetime, possibly even my own lifetime because I had a hangar, an Old World War II aircraft hangar that had been converted into a sailing center. So it’s like the two worlds were blending over, like two roads had reached an intersection. And the troops marching outside – I was left wondering, are those modern troops? Are they Napoleonic troops because it felt like such a long column of soldiers marching on foot that it seemed awry.
And I went forward from there. Unfortunately, I don’t think I survived my wounds because I remember finding myself in a calm, late dusk, early nighttime kind of place with an orange horizon at the late stages of a sunset all around the perimeter. The ground in the distance was black from lack of illumination. I’m just sitting on a large flat boulder with gravel nearby me with a sort of blue hue over it, as I looked at an orange-singed wound that had gone right through me, possibly from one of the .50 caliber shells. Those guns are designed to tear people to pieces; they’re designed to take down aircraft.
I saw the Grim Reaper standing there, looking boredm resting his hands and his jaw on the top of his scythe. As he leaned on it like a large walking stick, it was like he was feeling impatient for us to come in, that it was taking awhile.
Me:
Are you with anyone else?
Declan:
Yeah, there were dozens of other Germans. Like it was some rallying point for the dead.
I remember being my spirit, taken up as a child. I think I might have been even wearing lederhosen, being taken up to a spacecraft in orbit. Talking to this being that was made of half energy, half matter. It was here but not here; it phased in and out of existence. And it was questioning what was going on down there. It was furious. What humanity was doing to itself!
I couldn’t help but as a child, cry. I felt very sad, like I had been scolded. The being wasn’t angry at me directly, but it was furious; it was shouting.
I don’t know what happened to my family after that, unfortunately.
Me:
Why do you think you were shown this lifetime?
Declan:
Well, Hans was a very caring person but he was also very strong. Very resolute. His hands were like shovels; he was such a big guy. And I took inspiration from him in his ability to stand up to seemingly insurmountable odds. For his ability to stand up to bullshit. There are a lot of people in my life that I’ve had to contend with that have pulled very inappropriate stunts. They’ve justified it with flat out bullshit arguments with conniving, Machiavellian like ways of being and knowing that in this day and age of peace and plenty, that they can get away with it. They live in an age of generous law and order. By comparison to what I went through in that other life, we have a generous, spacious and patient legal system, and a lot of people take advantage of that. They take advantage of our societal tolerance and patience to exploit the various systems that make up our liberal democracy. And I’ve been exploited through that.
But Hans, if he saw people doing that he would not stand for it. He was not above pushing them into a corner and saying, “How dare you do that?” He could turn into a Kodiak grizzly of a human being if he needed to.
Me:
Since that regression happened, have you felt more assertive in your relationships and your boundaries with people?
Declan:
I’ve felt more empowered. I’ve held better boundaries. Like, I keep thinking of a castle wall when I think of him. He was like a living fortress and I feel that in me now. I can feel his energy sometimes when dealing with bullshit situations. And I can feel him saying no. I can feel his angry German energy <chuckles>.
Me:
This is interesting because this lifetime took place in the 30s and 40s, so pretty recent. If you’re looking at Earth’s timeline – linear timeline – that means roughly 40 years passed before you reincarnated into your current lifetime.
Did you have any childhood memories or even just notions of being attached to things that are German?
Declan:
Yeah, as a child, my mum remarked about how sometimes militant or militaristic my inclinations were. In early grade school, I remember discussing the first Iraq war, where Bush Sr. invaded Iraq to liberate Kuwait and the teacher sat us down about on an exercise to talk about how we can resolve this with words. And I was almost putting my fist into my open hand saying, “No, we need to invade and restore order. We cannot tolerate this insolence from Saddam Hussein, we will show them because we are mighty and we are strong.” And the teacher’s like, “No, we have to resolve this with words.” And I said, “No, words clearly do not work on people like that. We will bring the power to them and we will show them how and why they were wrong.” Which was very much in line with the politics of the government Hans worked for.
I remember looking at my childhood drawing book and seeing a grand court with a judge raised up on a high platform and guards at the side of the room.
Me:
Nuremberg?
Declan:
No, this was a people’s National Court, I think, because there was a bright spotlight shining down on a single person in a dark room with no jury, just a grand judge and armed guards – a very intimidating fascist looking courtroom.
And in another drawing, I have a massive transport craft carrying hundreds of people to a remote prison facility. And I felt bad when they all had unhappy faces. So as a child, I changed them all to have smiley faces, which didn’t really fix the situation at all; these people were being taken away in a large, massive flying vehicle to a remote prison facility.
Me:
Okay, so let’s go back just for a moment to that regression. Last question: were you aware of what was happening to the Jewish population in the regression itself?
Declan:
In the regression itself, no. It’s possible that in some of the blacked out scenes that there were atrocities and I fear the possibility of being involved in that. But at the same time with the blackout, I was told that those were segments that I didn’t need to see because they would do more harm than good.
Me:
Is there anything else that, looking back, makes sense now? Things are falling into place?
Declan:
I was really good friends in my youth with a group of German kids, and I had one Japanese friend who was my best friend.
Me:
Interesting.
Declan:
Yeah, I hate to admit it but as a kid I was a little bit racist.
Me:
It’s okay. It’s good to be honest.
Declan:
I didn’t like being around brown people and I had a friend who wanted me to come over to his house and I kept saying, “No, I just don’t want to hang out with you.” I was only okay with my Japanese friend at the time in terms of non-whites. I loved German baked goods, like stollen. I love stollen and I love lyoner meat. I got into German music too. I love the guttural feeling of the language; it felt so distinct and concise. And I also had a very black and white sense of justice as a kid and even into my 20s.
The last thing was…being around mentally handicapped people, I would literally get nauseous as a child; like, I felt disgust, unfortunately.
Me: Did you ever tell anybody that?
Declan:
I admitted it to my close friend and he seemed okay with it. Cuz as kids we set boundaries; we stay away from that which is different. I don’t think it impacted him quite the way it impacted me.
Me:
For people who are interested in past life regression, whether for healing, for learning or as a curiosity, is there any advice you have?
Declan:
It can definitely be an eye opener. You can learn a lot about yourself, your soul’s untapped potential and energy but, it is not to be taken lightly because it can literally be mind-altering. Doing this regression led to several regression dreams where I would see other parts of my life that I didn’t see during Hans’ regular regression during WWII. Like, I would sometimes have dreams where I was being confronted by the SS which made me feel sick to my stomach, cuz they were not nice people. My loyalty was questioned. I don’t know why.
But at the same time, that regression changed how I saw Adolf Hitler. I still have to remind myself of my history book lessons of the kind of person he was because there’s a voice sometimes that still suggests that he was this kind grandfather of Germany.
Me:
Well, that’s the thing. When you can be in someone else’s shoes – in this case – your own shoes but just in a different era, it’s difficult to judge people then because now you’re on that other side. So that’s what these things can teach us – the duality of lifetimes. We can be on both sides.
When I feel empathic is when I can sense what the other person is feeling. I’ve felt their feelings before; I’ve been in their situation before, not necessarily in this lifetime, but in other ones. All of those experiences build up and make you more understanding of the world.
Declan:
You’re more understanding, and sometimes you can even learn things about history.
When I was looking at this regression, it was a minor point earlier on during the WWII phase, seeing large guns on wheels and the use of trains and horses. My guide remarked, “Maybe you’re a lot older, maybe you have some parts of WWI.” I thought, I don’t think so. I then google searched it and saw how actually the common belief that Germany was, during WWII, this highly mechanized, industrial powerhouse, was the result of their propaganda ministry. They did have yes, some very powerful modern vehicles but they still heavily relied on horses and wagons to move about large guns, and they used trains heavily. I didn’t even know that from history class, it wasn’t until I saw this in my dreams that I started digging into it that I found out this stuff that isn’t even popular to bring up in Hollywood movies, cuz I guess it isn’t as good for the drama.
Me:
Well, thank you for sharing your experience. It was very enlightening.
I have shared parts of this story before with some friends who have lost beloved pets. Within the past few weeks, the memory of Tarkie has popped up again and again; as with things like this, intuitively I know now this story needs to be written.
When we were looking to adopt a cat from the local shelter, my partner went to visit first and saw an older male brown tabby that simply put, looked sad. The story was that his owner had had him since he was a kitten but had to give him up because she was moving. His name was Sharkey, and aptly so because he got swipey with his claws when one invaded his personal space. He also came with health issues. We adopted him mainly because at his older age and with health concerns, we worried Sharkey wouldn’t find a home. We renamed him Tarquin as we like all things Celtic. Tarkie became his nickname. Tarquin was also a character from Sophie Kinsella’s books so I liked that.
Looking back now, it was hard. I would come home after work and a long commute to first clean all the poop smears on the stairs and floors and sometimes vomit. He never learned to cover his feces properly and he also had really soft bowel movements because of his health issues and food sensitivities. Oh, and he loved to sleep on our bed under the covers so brown stains (and laundry days) were plentiful. But he was so incredibly obedient; he would stay still whenever it was time for his medicines and he always came back inside the house the instant we called out his name. His personality was spunky like mine. He was such a lap cat that whenever we made movements to get up, he would growl. So the smears on the bedsheets became less of an issue over time.
An old wise soul
Around the time his health worsened, this coincided with I suppose, a spiritual gift that awakened within me. I began to feel the palms of my hands pulsate, as if they had little hearts beating inside of them. This happened in varying intensity, at different times of the day, whether I was around people or not. I remember I would just stare at my hands sometimes. I was more curious than afraid. Then I began to imagine that energy was emanating from my hands and I would play with it while sitting on my bed at night. At times like this, Tarkie would come and sit on my lap and I would direct this energy towards him. It seemed to make him feel calm and at peace. In turn, he would often perch directly on top of my very sore left shoulder while I was lying in bed and purr loudly. Shortly after, I learned Reiki and whenever I practiced on anyone at home, he would make a beeline towards us and lie down on the recipient, happily absorbing some of that healing energy himself. At other times, he would paw at the air around me, at something he clearly saw in my auric field!
We really didn’t have him in our life for very long. I held his paw as he took his last breath at the vet. I prayed for his soul to go to the Light and be healed. I balled my eyes out for days.
Now, when I think of him, I have tears of loving remembrance.
It was a month or two before Samhain when he passed. I asked the Universe, could he cross over and visit me when the veil was thin? I hoped he could visit his previous owner too, because I know she loved him dearly. I was feeling uplifted about all this, after having recently read “Life on the Other Side” by Sylvia Browne.
One night, perhaps in February, I was sitting on the sofa and I felt a movement to my right, like something had jumped onto the sofa. Around this time, I was getting used to sensing energies around me so this didn’t phase me. It had been some time since I sent that request about Tarkie. At the back of my mind, I had doubts but hope was intermingled with it.
Then one night a few weeks later, I was awoken from my slumber. I felt something jump onto the foot of the bed. The bedroom was lit up. I saw a swirl of light energy race around the room excitedly. Could it be?? And as if reading my mind, he made sure I knew it was him. I briefly felt intense heat on the small of my back; he often slept there so this was him saying, “Yes it’s me!” by way of feeling. Then, I heard his unmistakable voice, his version of a meow: “Meh!” I sat up on the bed, mesmerized by what I was experiencing. I tried to pet him but he didn’t stay in one spot for very long. He was still blazing around the room and he was ecstatic to see me.
Excerpt from my journal entry
A few nights later, as I was lying in bed, I felt the bed move again. Then, the weight of paws on my chest. Tarkie often did this – he’d just walk right onto me. I fell fast asleep a second later. He was there to comfort me; I had written in my journal the night before that I was feeling sad about the state of the world.
It was about a month later that I was awoken during the night by Tarkie? Except this cat didn’t look like him or vocalise at all. It was a small calico and was young; its spine felt boney.
In the morning, I felt quite bewildered by the visitation. I even told my partner, I think the wrong cat visited us!
Was it a different cat that used to live in this house perhaps?
Or was it Tarkie, but reincarnated as a calico?
As I asked that question, I knew it had to be the latter. The possibility was shown to me that we could have connected with this calico, but we weren’t ready to adopt another cat.
In 2017, my partner – he wants to be called “Declan” here – underwent regression hypnotherapy to explore an earlier life that he led, for the purposes of deep healing and learning. This is me interviewing him and having the conversation transcribed into text so the content can be shared easily. His current medical condition causes him to be very tired so it’s challenging for him to concentrate on a long task such as writing.
Our intentions in sharing this are to bring these truths to light:
Reincarnation is real. We can access and learn from these memories. Also, benevolent Reptilians exist (these beings have a bad rap in parts of the new age community).
Me:
What drew you to past life regression therapy?
Declan:
I sought out past life regression while I was undergoing general counselling to try and root out some, I suppose psychological or psychiatric linked issues to my physical health problems. I’ve experienced limited success with neurofeedback therapy where they worked on my brain with electrical impulses to try and fix some of the physical illnesses I had. But it had plateaued. I thought, okay, I’ll try regular therapy or counselling, and the counsellor just so happened to provide past life regression. I thought, okay, since we’re not getting anywhere with the regular counselling side of things in this life, maybe there’s something in the past life. One of my doctors had talked about how research is being done into inter-generational trauma being passed on from parent to child, particularly mother to child. And he was even open to past life stuff. So I thought, okay, let’s give it a try. Let’s explore it. I’ve got a rather open minded scientific mindset. And I’ve learned if anything through this trying time to combat this illness, that close mindedness will only close doors to potential options. So I sought it out.
Me:
So can you describe how the regression experience was for you and how did you sense the memories that came up?
Declan:
It started off feeling just meditative and a little bit deeper than a daydream. It was like, essentially a guided trance. They call it hypnotherapy, but it’s nothing like what you see on TV where somebody is put under by a Freudian-like doctor with a pendulum. It’s just guided meditation. So I was put into a relaxed state that went deeper and deeper and deeper and I was still aware of where I was. But I I wasn’t as focused on it. I started focusing on this deep guided daydream trance. After going through an, almost inception like experience of going deeper through these different layers of my mind that were visualized as layers of, or floors of a building, going down flights of stairs, going down an elevator until I was somewhere deep. Then I was guided to open my eyes at one point, like not my physical eyes, but my eyes in my mind and see what I was. And the intention had been set to go to a past life that would provide me with strength and inspiration for addressing the current challenges I was facing. Holding on to that in mind as I went deeper through this building representing my mind, I eventually opened my eyes after keeping them closed in my mind for a little bit and then that’s when I found myself in the Reptilian body.
Me:
About that life you saw now, can you describe your appearance?
Declan:
When I first opened my eyes and opening into the past life, I looked at my arms and find them purple and scaly.
And I had…I think it was four fingers. I know I definitely had fewer than five fingers. But they were wider than human fingers and had a lot more muscle to them. Even the individual fingers of this being had a lot of muscle on them compared to a human finger. And I remember just being amazed at how I was this being, this upright walking reptile that had reverse jointed legs. So he had legs like a chicken. The joints were like that of a chicken or a bird’s leg but they were very thick, heavily muscled legs like legs like tree trunks almost the way they were so strong and with really wide feet that had I think three toes. The upper torso was more lean, but still strong. Arms were about as wide as your average human’s arm. So a bit lean compared to the legs, but still muscular. And I remarked at how I was wearing clothing that could be identified as familiar by humans like it was a sort of heavy cloth-like clothing that was making up the fatigues of my military uniform. But on top of that was body armour. I knew in my mind that it was a type of metal; it was an alloy but it had the weight and feeling of thin plastic. In a dark light it would appear black. If you showed it under a light it would have a sort of purple sheen to it with fate hints at other rainbow colors. And yeah, I remember just knocking on it and feeling like a thin sound as if I was knocking on Tupperware plastic. Yeah, it was incredibly durable, capable of stopping bullets or high energy blasts. So it allowed me to run around uninhibited.
And then my head was…I had dark eyes and a long, almost beak-like mouth with serrated teeth and a tail that I used to great effect for balancing. Like, it felt natural just having a tail. I knew I needed it for balancing, keeping myself upright. And I could use it. The tail was very muscular and thick. I could use it to knock things over if I wanted to. It’s not something you wanted to get in the way of, haha.
Me:
What was your name and approximate age?
Declan:
I was 25 years old. I’m not sure of the name of who I was. Later on, I borrowed the name Snek which is popular in internet memes for snake but I don’t know his actual name because the language was a lot of squelches and clicks. It would sound a bit like dolphins and a bit of some bird noises perhaps. But I could not remember the name of who I was. Names didn’t seem to be all that important in the society or at least I get the impression of that.
Me:
How long was the general life expectancy of Reptilians? Are you aware of there being different species?
Declan:
To my knowledge, it was just us in terms of reptiles. We hadn’t thus far encountered other sentient reptiles. The only beings we knew of were a race we called the Damagers who we were at war with for their highly destructive, pillaging nature towards natural ecosystems. They looked like rhinoceros standing on two legs, kind of like the character, I think his name was Rocksteady in Ninja Turtles…either Rocksteady or Bebop. Those were two henchmen of Shredder in Ninja Turtles. One of them was an upright rhinoceros and that’s kind of what the Damagers looked like.
Me:
I like that visual.
Declan:
Yeah, they were muscular all over, thick. They could withstand a lot of physical abuse, very brutish creatures.
Me:
So what did you get a sense of in terms of the general life expectancy of your race?
Declan:
About the equivalent of 300 years for humans. Compared to humans we could live up to 300 easily.
Me:
I’ll get you to describe the life you led, that you saw in your regression.
Declan:
In this one, the being I was – he was a part of the armed forces. He was a commando of sorts. He often operated alone and could be deployed behind enemy lines. Basically to mess things up for them. Like cuz he was fast. Really good with a gun. And like regular Earth commandos, he would look to throw a wrench into the gears of the enemy war machine where they weren’t expecting it. He did that as a means of supporting the main armed force which deployed spacecraft that would look like stuff out of Star Wars or Starcraft. A lot of fast moving craft with engines that had a sort of blue glow to them armed with particle weapons and laser beams and they also had heavy walkers much like seen in the Star Wars movies, except ours were more squat and low to the ground and had six legs. I actually remember being deployed on a planet by a drop ship and running down the ramp giving off a noise that when something like “Eeehhhhhrrrr!!!” which translated literally to “Hell yeah!!”
Me:
Hahahaha! It sounds like he really enjoyed being in this role.
Declan:
Yeah, he loved being outdoors and in nature and I’ve just been deployed on a green lush garden-like planet and I was running down into open plains of grass.
Me:
Do you remember the name of the planet?
Declan:
No, unfortunately.
Me:
Do you know which galaxy you’re in?
Declan:
Not sure of that either. All I can really remember was this planet had a blue sky. It was earth-like. Nearby me, there were other drop ships deploying heavy walkers. So we were on the beginning of some sort of mission given that the planet was still in a pretty pristine state. I think we were being deployed there for protective means because usually worlds the Damagers had already gone through had turned brown and red because of heavy pollution and unmitigated mining and industrial efforts. They would just use worlds up with no regard for whatever was living there.
Me:
So in this regression, you were taken to basically a battlefield. Did you see any other scenes?
Declan:
Yep. There was some time at one of the cities I lived in which typically, when building cities, my species, we tried to look for lands that were unoccupied by indigenous life. So we look for wastelands, deserts, stuff that didn’t have a lot of things living there already. Preferably flat land, like, say, the various salt flats that we have across Earth; that would be an ideal living space for them because it’s wide, it’s open, easy to build on, and there’s nothing really living there. So we would set out a perimeter for the city and only build within the perimeter once it had been established, so the cities tended to look very tall and spire-like, a lot of buildings reaching upwards high to the sky.
Me:
What did the building materials look like?
Declan:
A lot of metals and ceramics. The buildings tended to have two distinct architecture types; some were organic looking with a lot of smooth surfaces and water droplet shaped windows. Those ones tended to have a sort of yellowish hue to them. The other buildings tended to be more angular with a sort of darker look to them and almost triangular windows. It was like a triangle shape; it had four sides to it, a wide bottom, two sides slanting up and then a narrow top. So not quite a triangle, I can’t remember the name from geometry class, but it was four sided.
Me:
That’s okay. You can always draw it later. So it seems like the building itself was used to represent its use or its purpose, in the way it was constructed.
Declan:
I’m getting an inclination that the yellowish organic ones were used for dwelling and living and that the more angular ones were scientific and administrative. That’s my impression.
I know just thinking, like looking at those buildings, he had a slight sense of, I wouldn’t say foreboding, but when in the more angular buildings, he felt more slightly on edge. And then in the more organic curved buildings he felt relaxed. Inside one of the living buildings – a communal living building – I remember it had a very warm feeling to it. A lot of orange and brown coloring, yellow tiles of roundish shape like they weren’t uniform. They’re uneven with dark, clay-like grout between them. We’ve seen a lot of that in the Mediterranean region. It was kind of like that.
Me:
Did you notice a lot of symbols?
Declan:
No, not really.
Me:
Or certain colors in the tiles with the interior?
Declan:
The tiles on the floor were mostly yellow with bits of brown and some orange. The walls tended to have a sort of there was an orangish lighting and the walls were sort of pale and they looked again, ceramic-like, so it had a very homey, relaxed and imprecise feel to it. That was a communal dining area or food preparation area. I know we had a lot of large cauldron like vats set up where vegetables and meat were being cooked, which is what we ate mostly. They weren’t too big on carbohydrates, but the diet was very big on meat, protein and vegetables.
And that’s where I was leaning against a counter, topless, feeling rather cool because the guy I was had a very sort of, he was friendly, but he had a cocky kind of maverick from Top Gun air to him. And I guess that comes with just being a commando because you’ve got to be very confident in yourself to pull off that kind of a job. And at one point, an amphibian jumped out of one of the pots and my tongue lashed out, I grabbed it and ate it.
Me:
Hah! That’s gotta be my favourite part. Okay, so let’s talk about why you were at war with the Damagers and why your race felt that they had to go to war.
Declan:
We highly valued natural ecosystems. We saw ourselves as custodians and caretakers. We had a theocratic government. So our government and our faith were One. Our governors were priests, essentially. And we felt it was a sort of sacred obligation to care for the ecosystem that had given birth to us, given life to us. Much like how Humans would care for their elderly parents and their siblings and their young. We saw it as the same way to care for our ecosystem that was, in some way our family and we furthered that to extend to all ecosystems of other worlds as well. So if a world supported life, we protected it; we maintained its balance.
And the Damagers were like something out of like a high tech version of something out of Mordor from Lord of the Rings; they would just consume, burn, pillage, industrialize without moderation or pollution controls. They could also be compared to House Harkonnen, I suppose from the movie Dune, and we took great offense to how they were rampaging through any life supporting world they found. Like, we didn’t mind if they came to lifeless planets like if they came across something like Mars or Jupiter’s moons and they started mining it. We’re like, okay, you’re crude in the way you’re doing it, but that’s fine. There’s no life there. But when they went to life worlds, we’re like, No.
We tried diplomatic extensions to them, talking to them. That was fruitless and didn’t work and they had no respect for our way. So we declared war. And it was not something we took lightly because we did fear them. They were powerful. They were able to get between solar systems. We’re not quite sure how, but they did. And they had very powerful nuclear weapons, very powerful, ballistic weapons that left a lot of pollution in their wake, whereas we used primarily clean energy weapons and particle weapons. And we had teleportation capabilities that were not quite as exact as Star Trek’s transporter technology; it required focus beams to create vortexes to move ships through. That’s how we got from system to system basically, we opened up vortexes that would create artificial wormholes. I believe that technology could also be adapted to remove enemies from a specific point in space or on a planet but it was not easy. So it had to be done very carefully.
So long story short, I guess. They were putting up a big fight and I remember seeing my home world from orbit. We were so afraid of them getting to our planet that the entire planet had ships everywhere in orbit. Seeing it from orbit, there were hundreds of ships orbiting the planet from every angle, to basically be ready so that nothing could penetrate the defensive perimeter and get down to our world. So we have to look after our home world, plus the other worlds that we had within our dominion. And it was a stiff fight. Because they took great offense to our…they saw us as arrogant and dogmatic and took great delight in bringing the fight to us.
Me:
You’ve mentioned it before, but there was obviously a shared agreement in your race to go to war. Can you describe now how your political or leadership structure looked like?
Declan:
It looked like a more benevolent version of the Ori I suppose if I could compare it to Stargate because our government, like I said, being a theocracy was also our clergy, our faith ministers. The lower levels of the government were responsible for diplomatic outreach and administering faith to, I guess, to the masses when we came to worship them or not worship them, but worship with them, I should say.
The higher levels were highly revered and enigmatic. They tended to be older and we looked upon them with awe. And I saw them almost as magicians. We couldn’t fully or at least I couldn’t fully understand how they were capable of doing some of the things they did. They had so much knowledge that I saw them as almost God- like, not quite, but I was humbled by them. I mean even me being a highly resilient commando who was capable of taking on multiple enemies at once and delighted in sabotaging enemy infrastructure and could do a lot of damage on my own. I was to say the least, nervous around them, like a child would be around a character like Gandalf. They were sage-like and beyond truly awe inspiring. That was the higher levels – the members of the ruling council and their various auxiliary bodies that did other things. I could only guess what they did. I had the belief that they were involved in manipulating space time energy. I didn’t fully understand how they worked, though. I know it was science based because we melded science and faith together. We use science as our means of understanding the universe around us. But yeah they were a mystery to me.
Me:
You’ve mentioned that there was a theocracy and a faith. Can you describe the foundations of that faith?
Declan:
Foundation was rooted in the natural world. It was like the hearth that brought us to life. And so we had a deep love for it because we felt that it loved us and nourished us and provided us with what we needed. That was the foundation – the love of green prolific ecosystems that bear life.
It was very comforting, very soothing and instilled a great sense of calm, happiness and the higher levels tended to get a bit harder to understand because it involved science and mathematics and understanding or working towards understanding the universe, how it worked, which was seen as a more advanced form of nature.
So basically, the ecosystem the natural world was grounding and where we were rooted, and was what children learned about first, or younglings as I called them. And as you got older if you had the mental capacity for it, or you got into the spiritual governing caste, which usually was for individuals of great intellectual capability, you could learn about the higher levels of the universe. It was like a ladder. It was based in the ground, the dirt, the grass, the plants, and then it went up into the sky and then up into space. That’s how we saw the natural world – giving birth on the surface of planets and going up into the universe where things for me got awe inspiring but also hard to comprehend sometimes.
Me:
So did you have temples where you worshipped? Did you have altars in your home?
Declan:
We had temples with altars in them. Our homes were…because our society was so communal, we didn’t have a word or concept for friend and family because everybody was friend and family. Everybody was a good friend so we didn’t have to really distinguish that way. Our living spaces, we had individual living spaces which were usually rooms equivalent to like a bachelor suite apartment, like I had my own private place where I slept and I had a few knickknacks that I’ve collected over the years. But it was simple, like a convent where individual brothers or nuns would have their own room where they had a few of their personal effects, just a few. That was usually only used for sleeping and they would go to a communal dining area, which is what we did.
We socialize together, gather around fires together, talk together, cooked together, ate together and watched our version of television together which was like a sort of spherical thing that could project images, which is where I remember one time eating dinner and seeing on our version of the Discovery Channel.
Thanks to what some of our probes that had reached Earth had found, we were seeing footage of primitive primates that humans evolved from, walking around hunched over, covered in fur, carrying spears. And we could tell they were on a clear path of evolution and that they were going to become someday the dominant species of the planet because they either had fire or were soon to discover it. And they had tools. And we knew we recognized when the species developed tools, there was substantial intelligence to it. So now, there was a big debate among our society of whether or not we should interfere or not. I mean, that decision would ultimately fall to the spiritual ruling government. But because they listened to society, they didn’t just, well, issue orders and direct us but it was only after carefully listening to us. So there was strong communication up and down the hierarchy. And yeah, we were at the point of where the whole society was just debating, should we go to this world and act as stewards and guides? Guide the species? Or should we let them figure things out on their own? And it’s tough to say, some people say Reptilians are already here. So I don’t know if they decided to come to Earth and perhaps infiltrate it and guide it carefully. But I know back then we were debating whether or not to overtly guide the species, like show up as superior beings and say, hey, we know stuff and we can help you out or if we should just let them be.
Me:
So were you aware that there were other Reptilians that had already been to Earth?
At least it’s widespread this knowledge that they had enslaved humans.
Declan:
I knew of nothing like that. No. The only other species we know of were the Damagers who we are at war with. Given how vast space is, it’s quite easy to miss other sentient creatures, and sometimes not bump into them until much time has passed.
Me:
Can you describe what kind of shared activities or hobbies that your Reptilians enjoyed?
Well, did you play sports or play games?
Declan:
I didn’t get any memory of sports and games. I mean, there probably was some stuff but I was kept pretty busy in the military caste. I mean, I’ve got vague memories of children running around playing and they did go to school. I don’t know what the other civilian castes did in their spare time really.
Me:
Why do you think you were shown this life? And what did you learn about yourself?
Declan:
Well, this guy was very strong and when on his own, self sufficient and he didn’t take nonsense. Like he was not easily intimidated by his enemies. So he was very resilient at fighting against a sometimes overwhelming, brutish, ignorant force which was inspirational for me because as I often say to myself, humanity is infantile. I don’t mean that in a disparaging way, but we have advanced so quickly, technologically, that we have not in our brains’ evolution caught up. I mean, we are still in terms of evolution, mentally designed for the Bronze Age or earlier. But now we have this advanced technology and we don’t know how to responsibly handle it.
We pollute our own world. We disparage against each other because of our tribalistic instincts to separate ourselves from different social groups. And a lot of people don’t recognize that which is very frustrating to me. They don’t recognize that much of their day to day behavior is just a sophisticated translation of very primitive instincts. And that’s leading us to a lot of trouble, warfare, genocide, environmental pollution, extinction of other species, because we can’t manage this planet properly. My race, the Reptilians that I came from had evolved properly and we’re very conscious about what they did. Everything that they did was intentional, because they put thought into what they did. They didn’t run on autopilot like a lot of humans did or do. So I took great inspiration in being cognizant of what they do and being compassionate while at the same time, strong handed when necessary.
They taught me that the best way to live is a balanced, cognizant and an aware way of living. Because once you know all the proper details about something you can make a proper decision. Like, if you know that other person that you don’t like, is a human being with their own challenges and you understand those challenges and you are aware of them, you’re far less likely to be a jerk to them because it’s my belief that people are only mean to each other because they don’t understand fully what they’re doing to another person and some might argue, oh, they know fully well, and they’re gonna do it just because they’re evil and well, okay, there are a lot of undiagnosed mental illnesses. That’s an awareness problem.
We’re prideful, whereas the Reptilians were not. I mean, they weren’t overly meek and humble either. They were just, I keep coming back to the word “balanced”. I mean, they were run by a theocracy that was like a benevolent form of the Ori mixed with the Jedi – driven to the greater good. Something that we really need to learn from. Something we only seem to drive for is the personal good. And even then I have to ask, is it good? Or is it just satisfying some hollow need that we don’t fully understand? So it taught me to love myself and to love nature and to persevere to protect the natural world and to promote balance and understanding wherever possible and true understanding. I’m not talking about just like left wing people saying, oh, I’ve read some books so I know shit and I’m better than right wing people. Like, no understanding to the point where, like Nancy Pelosi, you can openly say that you’re worried for your enemy and you pray for him. Because a lot of left wing people I know, they still disparage the right wing people rather than saying, I understand that person’s in pain or they don’t understand and I want to help them. There’s still a lot of divisive thinking. The Reptilians taught me to move beyond divisive thinking and focus on strong, protective, compassionate thinking.
Me:
It sounds like they expanded your consciousness.
Declan:
Yeah, you could say that. They gave me some good ideas.
Me:
Have you received any more information about this race and how they are faring now?
Declan:
A sort of mystic sage I go to sometimes…who has been able to answer some questions about myself personally that I’ve never told anybody – he’s got my trust. He has told me that they’re faring well. I don’t know how the Damagers are doing, but I know my race…that they have 12 home worlds now. So for a planet to qualify as a home world, that has to mean that it’s well populated, and it’s not nearly an outpost, it’s got millions or billions of souls living on it. So for 12 planets to have that many Reptilians living on it, complete with their industry and their cities means that yeah, they are doing well. Honestly, I’d like to see them, considering the fact that they’ve got 12 worlds. They’ve probably got dozens more outposts but I didn’t get any information on that.
Me:
Thank you for sharing your experience so openly and so honestly.
This is a method of communication with your Higher Self (God Self) or other Divine Beings (we are all One, really). It involves asking yourself Yes/No questions and receiving an intuitive “hit” through your body’s electric system to gain clarity on what is in your Highest Good to experience in the moment. There are many other responses you can ask your body for such as Maybe and Ask Again Later. I would also describe muscle testing as body dowsing. Some like to dowse with crystal pendulums, rods, or other tools. I do too but I’m with my body all the time, so it’s most convenient 🙂
There are lots of articles on this topic, but what I found was that the techniques were too prescriptive for me. I tried different methods – body swaying, eye blinking, tongue on the roof of the mouth, interlocking fingers etc. Each method saying if this moves that way, it’s a No answer or, if this moves the other way, you’re getting a Yes answer. The results were inconsistent for me and every time something didn’t work, it made me feel progressively more doubtful of my intuitive abilities – the opposite of what is supposed to happen!
I have my own trusty method now, because I decided to stop reading about what others were doing. We are all unique and the way in which we respond will differ.
Getting started:
Intend to stay neutral
To be neutral, it helps to be calm. Breathe. Observe.
Ask “Higher Self, show me a Yes answer” and notice/feel/sense the response.
Ask “Higher Self, show me a No answer” and notice/feel/sense the response.
Can test your response by asking a question you know the answer to, e.g. “Is my name ….?”
Practice, practice, practice.
Intend that everything you do throughout the day, no matter how seemingly menial, is super important to your spiritual growth. You are a Light Being inside a human body. Perform a bit of magick daily by muscle testing every damn day.
Some examples:
At the restaurant, muscle test which item on the menu is in your Highest Good to order (I can almost guarantee that you will get a Yes for salad, haha!).
During a walk, when you are faced with multiple possible routes to your destination, muscle test which one to take.
When you are grocery shopping, and deciding between which brand of canned beans to buy, muscle test it.
Need to hire a plumber? But which one?
Deciding your wedding or commitment ceremony date?
Ok that one is more tricky. One way to do this is to muscle test the year, then the month, and narrow it down from there.
Back to the 1st step: Intention to stay neutral. We are emotional creatures and most blessed to feel a vast array of complex emotions. An attachment to a particular choice can be so strong, our power can will that choice into being, though it may or may not be to our highest benefit. One of many ways to practice detachment from an answer is by writing potential choices down on pieces of paper, flipping them over, mixing them up, then muscle testing which one is in your Highest Good to choose.
Detachment as a topic warrants a separate discussion. Over time, it becomes easier when we realise there is no such thing as taking a “wrong” step or “failing” at something.
Whenever you are about to read a book or article or blog post (like this one), I highly suggest muscle testing how much truth is in it for you. Is it more than 60%? 80%? Go with whatever range you are comfortable with.
These are my observations of men at my workplaces, on the bus, and just walking their small dogs along the street. That’s totally a commonplace thing now, btw, big tall men with small dogs. Just look around, or watch this story. I think it’s super cute.
I have a soft spot in my heart for men who I see and sense are being their true selves or are yearning to have the courage to be so. It’s not easy being a man and how can it be (I can say this with some semblance of truth, in that I’ve spent many other lifetimes as a man)? I can honestly say I’m grateful to be a woman this time around; I can wear anything I want, whether it’s a dress or a man’s suit and I’m not expected to go off and fight in wars or break up a street fight (although I could do these things if I wanted to). It’s okay if I cry in public – no one is going to make fun of me.
Traditional roles of men and women have changed so much over the years, but it seems more changes are happening at an accelerated pace. When I’ve attended spiritually minded workshops or healing circles, the majority of the attendees are women. I’m always drawn to the one or two men who show up and I honour their presence and the balance they bring to the room.
When I was a teenager, I was sexually assaulted by a man and it took me a long time to forgive him, and myself for not speaking out and valuing my voice. There’s been a strong imbalance in our world; the pendulum was way off to one side for a long time, and it’s important that we don’t let it swing the opposite way. Balance brings peace.
Women are feeling much more empowered than ever before. It was this Me Too movement that triggered me to heal those old wounds.
Women can be sensitive and empowered at the same time. I’m honouring those men who are brave enough to be seen by others as both soft and strong too. Those qualities are in all of us, no matter which gender we ascribe to, if at all.
Btw, since I love crystals so much, I love seeing that men are wearing crystals. If you are one of them, I see you.
This is picture of my partner, who I know has literally felt like an island for much of his life. He’s the type of guy who will be walking along the street, then make a sudden pivot and go back a few paces to check on that dried out worm stranded on the cement. Many times, I have witnessed him put the worm on the grass and pour a bit of water from his water bottle over it. He’s a sensitive, emotional, generous, and heart-centred man who has experienced bullying growing up because he didn’t fit into the typical role society says a man should play. There are so many others like him. I see you. Be true to yourself and trust that the world will change.
Earlier today I had a spark of inspiration come into my head: write about my connection to machines and experiences around their consciousness. They (my Spirit guides) know I like this subject and that it would spur me to write.
First, my HP inkjet printer from the 90s. It worked very well when we first got it then when I moved out with it (and it had really aged by then), I noticed that paper would often get stuck or it would grab multiple pieces for a job so one paper would have a sentence or two printed on it and the rest of the text would end up on another sheet. Later on, whenever I sent multiple jobs to the printer, it would just feel overwhelmed (yes, that is the feeling it gave off) and print off gibberish, usually in the form of random symbols. The paper getting stuck was super annoying, especially when it was 3am in the morning and I had homework due in a few hours. However, when it started printing gibberish, I discovered that I could just feed the same two sheets of paper through the printer over and over to avoid wasting paper. While doing this though, I felt like I was nurturing a child that was sick. Later, I quite enjoyed the process and I would sit cross legged on the floor feeding paper through it ever so patiently whenever it felt overwhelmed. I want to say at times, these sessions felt like 15 or 20 minutes long, but it really didn’t matter how long it took. I did learn to send jobs to the printer at a slower pace, instead of building a backlog. When I acted with calm and patience, things ran much more smoothly.
Despite my attachment to this printer, it no longer made sense to keep it. I felt really bad about it being taken apart for recycling.
A couple of years ago, I had a dream where I saw a dwarf hamster climbing around this old printer of mine, and this image was just floating in the air. I could look away and not see it but when I softened my gaze, this image was in plain sight floating right in front of me. The message I got from this dream was that I could access a different period; time is not linear. My printer came to me because it represented a different time period and the hamster, my innate ability for attention to detail.
I never really paid close attention to those symbols my printer gave me (the aforementioned gibberish) but I recall now, with a special fondness, that they were mainly hearts and smiley faces.
Second, my experience with my first car, Minnie, who I named after a beloved hamster that had a gimpy leg. Minnie had trouble going up hills so they had that in common. She was involved in so many of my life experiences – house moves, job changes, an accident, breakups, friendships, depressive episodes. She went with me everywhere, transported things and people, and rarely complained. When I needed a safe place to be when I was going through tough emotional times, I would drive her to a secluded spot and just cry. I am eternally grateful that she was there for me.
So consider this. Atoms, which make up everything in this Universe, is 99.9999999 percent composed of energy. It does boggle the mind that something seemingly so solid could be, but yet that is the case. Everyone and everything is energy.
Not too long ago, I was guided to read about Findhorn, a spiritual community in Scotland. In “To Hear the Angels Sing”, written by one of Findhorn’s co-founders, Dorothy Maclean, in one of the chapters, she talked about their printing press that would spew ink about whenever a certain individual was in the room. I found this anecdote incredibly amusing because I could relate. I resonated so much with that book and everything I’ve read about Findhorn (God bless her, she passed away peacefully last month).
My partner has a story too, about a TV. When he was a kid, his uncle came to visit one day. His uncle was experiencing some digestive problems and passed some pretty strong gas. The TV screen immediately went all staticky. He left the room and the TV screen returned to normal. His uncle came back moments later and the TV went all staticky again. The family shooed him away since they didn’t want him in the room anyway. Once again, the TV returned to normal after he vacated the space.
I suppose this is why (besides it being sustainable), I like older, used or found objects; they already have led interesting lives with interesting people. Consider the kind of energy that goes into mass-produced objects (typically not made to last and go straight to the waste stream when something breaks down) as opposed to handmade creations that come from a labour of love.
My beloved machines taught me to treat other objects with the same respect. When I use my washing machine, I bless it too and give thanks. How curious is it that many of us name the “inanimate” objects in our lives, such as cars? We say things like, “She’s running smoothly”.
One With Nature Healing 